To Him Whose Mind Is Steadfast...

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 Over the past few weeks, I've spent alot of nights tossing and turning. I am restless, and my thoughts keep going even when I make a conscious effort to restrain them from doing so. While anyone could take a look at my current life and assume the reasons for such, most do not take the time to truly understand. But to those who do, we stand with the apostle Paul in saying that "We thank God every time we remember you." (NIV, 2011, Philippians 1:3). 

Over the next few weeks and probably for the rest of our lives, we will make some difficult decisions that will ultimately pave the course of our future. And as far as I can see, there are currently only two roads from which to choose. 

The sleepless nights come not from knowing that a choice must be made, but rather from a lack of understanding as to which is the best one to take. So I pour myself into prayer and reflection. I listen, but my own sinful desires keep from being confident of what I hear. If I'm wrong, nothing will be right. Somehow, I've got to drown out the noise.... 

As I sat down to read this morning, the verse Isaiah 26:5 came to mind, which states that, "The Lord will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in Him." (NIV, 2011). I turned to it, and was then reminded of another in Psalm 91:2 which states that, "I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God; In Him will I trust." (NIV, 2011). 

From these two verses, I thought to myself of a message we heard in church many weeks ago which emphasized the reality of every choice we make being directed by either love or fear. Choices made in love can only be made when we are trusting in the Lord and walking in His peace. Without this trust and without this sense of peace, we are vulnerable to the effects that fear and doubt can have on our choices, and ultimately, our livelihood. 

Lately, I have been vulnerable. I have spent to many nights going back and forth in my mind between which decision I think is best. But as soon as I think I've made up my mind, I am reminded of something that causes me to rethink my decision all over again. I can hardly say that this is a demonstration of a steadfast mind! If anything, I rather feel that I am being tossed back and forth like the wind!

But, slowly, I am learning. Every day I wake up, I take my anxieties and struggles to the Lord. He takes them in the palm of His hand, and suddenly, there is peace. I am constantly reminded that the only thing I can do is what He's called me to today. I can wake up, love my husband more than I did the day prior, be extra kind to someone at work, and meditate on His Word. But that is all I can do. Whatever tomorrow brings, the Lord knows that living today is the only thing that will prepare me for it. No amount of anxiety will change the outcome. For, if we do what's right in the ordinary things, God is faithful to carry us through and reveal to us His will in His good timing. 

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